Day 23, 742: Success Through Assists.

When you’re a young mother, you think you should do it all. Not can do it all, but should. When you flounder, you feel guilt. “I should have been able to do it all.”

As you get start to face reality, you realize you not only need help, but that without help success is not really possible. If you’re lucky, like I was, an older, wiser woman takes you aside and tells you to get a housekeeper, nanny, handyman, or even all three for the sake of your house, your marriage and your family. My mentor even had a car driver! She had more money that I did, and the driver really seemed over the top, but if you asked her she would have told she most valued the driver. She worked while being driven to meetings, didn’t stress over traffic and parking, and always had a ride waiting for her regardless of neighborhoods well before the days of Uber and Lyft.

Recently, I was part of a team in an Escape Room and one of the first suggestions the trainers told the teams was they were entitled to three clues. Then they reminded you to ask for help whenever needed and told tales of teams who ran out of time without ever getting a clue. You win by solving the room’s puzzle, not losing by refusing clues. It’s a lesson in getting help.

Related Post: Teamwork at Work

I’m a bit older and wiser now, but I still sometimes struggle with getting help. However, I have  learned the  value of any help I get. One of the most valued support systems in our house is our dog walker, Mike.

This past week, I had to get to work and was on my own. Our elderly dog doesn’t get up early anymore, doesn’t come down stairs quickly for breakfast, and once out for his morning business takes his own sweet time before attempting to come back inside. It’s infuriating, stressful, and I quickly run out of patience even though I know he’s doing the best he can.

My wise stepfather of years ago used to tell the family that if you can solve a problem with money, it’s not a problem.  If you don’t have the money, then that’s a problem, but if you do, spend the money to solve the problem.

My husband reminded me of this with the recent dog incident. While I was completely losing it, he called Mike to come in twice a day rather than only for one scheduled afternoon assist.  Mike immediately agreed to add an earlier AM  stopover to help me  with the morning routine on the days I was left to fly solo in the house.

The next day, I left the house at 8am; the dog stayed upstairs deciding on when to get his day started, and the dog walker came over at 9:15. By then the dog’s arthritis meds had kicked in and he trotted down the stairs tail wagging.  Everyone was happier. I got to work on time; the dog walker got some extra business; and the dog was able to move at his own pace. Life was sane because I got help.


Daily Focus on Gun Sanity:  If you are knitting enabled (I’m not) and want to help support the Wear Orange day on June 2, consider making some of these bracelets for those in your life working on common sense gun improvements in local communities. You can sell them to raise funds to donate to the cause, or just give them to supporters who needs some orange in their lives. If you know a knitter, pass the idea along.