Day 23,662: Facing Up To My Face
Let’s face it. My jaw dropped. Not because of something someone said. Not because of awe. Just because of age. Somehow, sometime, gravity took its toll and my chin got a little extra layer. And that’s just the half of it. There are now lines under my eyes, and even when I’m well rested look tired and haggard.
It’s the natural aging process and I should embrace it, but I can’t help pulling my jaw line up and contemplating a face lift. It just comes over me. Then, my head steps in and tells me why it’s ridiculous; how I genuinely like how naturally aging women look – other women; how there are children starving all over the world and any money spent on a face lift is truly a poor judgement call on values. And so I continue to go into the world with my face such as it is.
So why does the concept of a face lift even pop into my head? Because I’m still trying to work, be taken seriously, get paid a decent wage, and not be considered out of the running with those ever younger than me entering my field. Perhaps it would be better if I just embraced my aging and felt that looking older provided a look of wisdom. I’d like to think that, but I’m not yet convinced.
I know it’s part of the indoctrination of our youth and celebrity culture. I also know want to provide a good role model for my children and future grandchildren. Yet, I still struggle. How can I age gracefully with a face that is soft with experience instead of haggard from survived burdens? Yes, I moisturize at night. Then, I wake up, put on my new face with makeup, and go out into the world as the best me I feel I can present. Then I worry at what point I’m a clown face instead of an enhanced face.
How great it would be to have no mirrors. Then we would just meet people as we are without a care about we look because we wouldn’t know. That would be freedom.