Day 23,725: Living My Preferred Language
For every yes there is a no. Susan Pierce Thompson says this as part of her Bright Line eating program. I think she’s right. There is no inherent right in the “yes,”,or wrong in the “no,” it’s just that every yes means you’ve chosen a no to something else.
This is hard for those of us who like to have both choices and a little bit of everything. But, if I choose to blog, it means I’m not making a phone call. If I make a phone call, it means I’m not reading a book. If I’m reading a book, I’m not engaging with loved ones. If I make a judgement about each choice, I could drive myself nuts. So you just have to choose and know each choice is a priority choice of that moment, and that moment only.
It’s funny because there are numerous books designed to get naysayers to say “yes” more often, and an equal amount of books teaching us multi-taskers and overachievers the art of saying “no.” In both cases, the answer to any question, whether yes or no is considered a positive step forward.
Tomorrow, I’m choosing to go into Philadelphia for lunch with my kids. That may seem like an easy choice. Ok, it is. But that yes to going in, means no to blogging on Sunday as I usually do, yes to spending more money than I intended this week, and no to stricter budgeting for now. It’s because I value family time and shared experiences over most anything, or as one daughter puts it, my language of love is Quality Time.
In case you’re interested, the other 4 love languages, according to author Gary Chapman, are: Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Like Yes and No, there is no correct language. There is the one you speak, and the one others might speak.
So if you speak English and fall in love with someone who speaks French (first of all, I’m not even sure how that happens), then to get along forever one or both of you need to either get a translator (awkward, but also could mean a therapist), or learn to speak the other language enough to be understood.
It’s all so easy, and yet so hard.
What if you don’t want to say “no” to something? For instance, I want to keep up my practice of daily blogging, but I can’t if I go into Philly. The easy answer is plan ahead and do extra pre-scheduled blogs days before. But, it’s hard. I don’t have lots of time in other days to double up on writing time.
The answer? I always and still turn to my mother (although now in my head). Her answers were so consistent that it’s easy to channel her. What would she have said? That’s easy.
“Who ever promised you easy? Get cracking. You’ll feel better when your work is done and you have free time to do your other stuff.”
If you’re reading this — guess what? It was pre-scheduled and I’m enjoying a likely too expensive but fun meal in the City of Brotherly Love.
Daily Focus on Gun Sanity: How to commit to this cause without having other causes suffer? You can’t. Decide which cause gets you to march, which gets you to donate, and which gets you to volunteer. If the answer is all three to Gun Sanity, it’s your key cause. But, it’s ok to have another key cause and just donate, or another key cause and just march, or to just volunteer on this cause, while donating to others. It all depends on you and your priorities. See that was an easy answer to hard choices we’re all making these days. There’s no one right answer because there are so many issues.